Always, always, always a mother ...

No matter how old you get ... or how old your kids get ... you will always be their mother. The duties may change, but they don't go away.

I have a bad habit of saying what I think, especially to my kids, even though they are all adults now. I get myself in trouble. Maybe I should respect the fact that they are adults and keep my thoughts to myself ... or just complain to my friends and get all the feedback I need from them. (Although some of my friends are way too honest and let me know when I'm out of line! Hate them! But also love them more than ever!)

Maybe some of you don't see it from my perspective. Maybe you are tired of your mother's meddling; maybe you wish she would hush up and leave you alone. But I know from personal experience that the day may come when she is not there anymore, and you wish you could be annoyed by her one more time.

If you have small children of your own, maybe you can't imagine them ever making bad choices. They will be perfect angels, making wise decisions their whole lives. Sorry, someday you may find out that it doesn't work that way! And you may eventually take my place, the old mother hen who wants to do whatever you can to help them, guide them, and try to save them from the hardest knocks, even if it means upsetting your more responsible kids.

Sadly, I'm finding myself sympathizing more and more with the "old ladies" I knew at church who seemed so irritated when the younger crowd spouted their idiocies (yes, even then I knew that a lot of it was pretty naive). I guess I'm one of them now! Most of the women at my current ward are young mothers, similar in age to my daughters, and I can hardly stand to listen to them sit smugly back and assume that their children will never smoke, drink, or get body piercings. Almost every Sunday I hear the class -- even the teacher -- proudly proclaim the wise choices her four-year-old made last week. Occasionally an older mother with teenagers will say something like, just wait, you don't know what you're in for. But she is usually dismissed and often secretly judged harshly because of her kids' struggles. They believe that if that mother had done all of the "right" things, her kids wouldn't be like that. Well, I admit that I made plenty of mistakes, but I tried my best to be a good mother. I had some great successes and some awful failures. Who gets the credit? Who takes the blame? I personally believe that most of it is the result of who that person really is inside their soul, who they were before they came to this earth. We guide and direct them as best we can, but they are who they always were. So ... when they do well, they get the credit. When they mess up, we take at least some of the blame! And yes, we did sign up for this!

I'm glad to be where I am now, on the other side of both things (little kids and teenagers)! And I'm especially grateful that I'm done fighting the school district! Whoopee! I've been done for several years now (it's been almost two years since Jimmy graduated from high school), but the joy and happiness is still there.

But my point is that each person on this earth was born with their own personality, with strengths and weaknesses. Each person has his own challenge to overcome. As parents it is our duty to lead and guide them in the direction that will bring them the best life and the most happiness, but in the end, they make their own choices, just the same as we did.

And back to the parenthood issue ... were my children sent to me to be their mother only until they are 18 years old? Am I done now? I don't think so. Sorry, kids, I'll be hovering until I'm lowered -- into the ground! And maybe even longer than that!