Friday, March 18, 2011

Baby Baby (and two adorable kids)–TAKE TWO

OKAY, I got that last post out of my system! I’m tempted to just delete it. Oh well! We’ll see!

On Monday, February 28, I got the news that Jill was going into the hospital on March 5 (Cinco de Marcho, as I like to call it) to either have a C-Section or get induced. I was glad to have it scheduled so I wouldn’t have to jump in the car and floorboard it to Arizona, only to get there too late for the birth! I had a bunch of stuff (the basic travel necessities) packed just in case, but as a committed OCD person, I always like to have a plan.

In order to save time, Cindy (Jared's mom) and I made plans to meet at 7:00 AM at the Sam’s Club parking lot near my house on Friday, March 4. She could get a ride there with Court, Jared’s dad, while he was on his way to work. That way neither one of us would have to drive out of our way to meet and it would give us a firm deadline on when we were leaving. Knowing us, if either one of us was planning to meet at the other’s house, we would probably waste time yakking instead of doing our yakking ON THE ROAD. I’m sure you get my drift.

Everything worked as planned. We met, loaded up the car, and hit the road. In addition to our suitcases we had Cindy’s cot and bedroll (I planned to sleep on “my” aero bed that stays at Jill’s place), miscellaneous baby gifts from friends, two large bins of baby clothes from Jared’s brother, and, of course, the essentials, such as traveling snacks and a couple 12-packs of CF Diet Dr. Pepper.

Since Jill was going into the hospital the next morning, she suggested that we meet them somewhere for the traditional “last meal” and she just happened to have a coupon for Chevy’s, so that’s where we went. I hadn’t eaten there for years and it was great – and the food wasn’t bad, either. Then we went to Jill’s place and continued with our traditions, which meant the girls going for a pedicure, including Kadence. Jill was hoping that when she was going to be able to actually see her feet again, they would look pretty! We also went grocery shopping and watched “Unstoppable” on DVD. It was a full day!

101_0035bOn Saturday, Jill was supposed to be at the hospital at 10 AM to get an ultrasound to see what the babies had decided – move into position and be born the normal way, or speed up the process with a c-section. Jacob’s’ last soccer game of the season was that morning at 10:00. I kind of resisted going to the soccer game. I wanted to be at the hospital! But it was Jacob’s last game and nothing was going to happen THAT fast, so eventually I was persuaded to go to the game. Jacob was having an after-the-season pizza party that his soccer coach was taking him to, and a friend of Jill’s was going to babysit Kadence and (eventually) Jacob while we were at the hospital. I was glad that I went to the soccer game. Jacob played a really good game and it was fun watching him try so hard.


As you might notice in the pictures, both Jared and Jacob are sporting crew cuts. Their Relief Society had an Enrichment Night where someone showed the others how to cut hair, and Jared volunteered. I guess it’s nice and cool for the summer!

After the game, Cindy and I took Kadence out to lunch before heading for the hospital. While we were there, we got Jill’s text that the babies were going to be born C-Section. I began to shake. I realize the doctors know what they’re doing and all, but this is MY baby we’re talking about! We dropped Kadence at Jill’s friend’s place and started down the road, but there was one small problem … we didn’t know the name of the hospital or where it was! Jill had vaguely gestured in its direction when we were driving home from the Mexican restaurant the day before, but that didn’t help much. I had also looked it up online for Jill the night before, but in my agitated state, I couldn’t remember anything about it. We called Jill’s friend and she didn’t know what hospital Jill was using, either, but she named off a bunch of them and I picked one that sounded sort of familiar so we set the GPS and went there.

We hadn’t been there very long when we got the text and picture that the babies were born!


We found out later that right after Sam was born, Jill started to bleed. Ben was way up inside and turned the wrong way, so the doctor had to use one hand to try to control Jill’s bleeding and turn, grab, and pull him out with the other hand. The nurse said that when the doctor was trying to deliver Ben, he grabbed her finger. She said she will never forget how sweet it was. In all, Jill lost at least a liter of blood and they said she might need a blood transfusion, but she managed to make up the difference by the next day.

Jill was in recovery for several hours, so Cindy and I were just hanging out in the waiting room when we suddenly realized that we weren’t absolutely certain that we were at the right hospital. I hate to say it, but it would be really typical of me to be sitting for 101_0061-1hours at the wrong place. Cindy started texting Jared, trying to confirm the name of the hospital, but Jared didn’t seem to understand what we were asking and kept answering that we had to wait to see them until they were out of recovery. Eventually a nurse came to escort another patient to her car and she noticed our “Twins are twice as nice” balloon stuck to the little flower arrangement we picked up in the gift shop. She was able to confirm that we were at the right place because she was going to be Jill’s nurse for the rest of that day.

101_0040-1Eventually Jill and the babies were taken to their room and the frantic grandmas were allowed in. Here’s my first picture of the babies in their little beds and one of me with the babies!

Jill’s friend who was babysitting Jacob and babies n me[1]Kadence told us that they wanted to go to “game night” at the church that evening, so after a couple of hours, Cindy left to pick the kids up and take them home. I stayed longer. Jill has already posted a lot of the pictures I took, but I’m going to do a few more and include my favorites anyway, even if they’re repeats! 101_0043-1

Here is Jill with … Sam, I think. 101_0054

This picture is one I took of Sam while he was lying on my lap.

The third picture (below) is Sam on the left, Ben on the right. I took Sam’s clothes off in an effort to try to wake him up so Jill could try to nurse him, but he wasn’t cooperating very well! It also makes him look enormous next to Ben. Ben is smaller, but 101_0058you really notice the difference here!

They are easy to tell apart. Besides being different sizes, Sam has brown hair, and Ben’s is blonde. They also have different blood types. Definitely fraternal twins! I have no idea how Jeanette kept her girls apart. I still struggle to remember which is which when they have hats on!

jared nappingPoor Jared was totally exhausted from all his exertion and just passed out that afternoon! When I finally left the hospital (probably around 8 PM), of course I couldn’t drive home without incident. Cindy had taken my car to pick up Jacob and Kadence, so I was driving back to Jill and Jared’s place in their Honda Pilot. As I was merging onto the freeway near the hospital, I noticed police lights in my rear view mirror. Hoping that I was just in his way as he headed towards more important business, I pulled over. Unfortunately, he pulled over behind me! BUSTED! As it turned out, I had forgotten to turn on the headlights. They automatically come on in my car and the Pilot’s dashboard lights go on at night whether the headlights are on or not, so I completely forgot about them. I used the “my-daughter-just-had-twins” and “this-is-their-car” excuse, and after spending about half an eternity checking my license and registration, the policeman let me off with a warning. Whew!

When I got back to Jill and Jared’s place, Cindy was having trouble getting the kids to go to bed. “Nice Grandma” (her) had to retire to her room and “Mean Grandma” (me) had to take over. Sometimes you just have to bring it on.

101_0094The next day was Sunday, and Cindy and I took the kids to church (where we may have mentioned the babies’ arrival to a FEW people) and then to visit their new baby brothers at the hospital. The next few days were a blur of running back and forth between the hospital, Jill and Jared’s place, and Jacob’s school. Cindy flew home on Monday. The doctors considered letting Jill go home on Monday afternoon, but the pediatrician wanted them to regain some weight first. On Tuesday the babies were ready to go, but Jill’s headache became worse and they thought it was due to a leakage of some sort of her spinal fluid from the anesthesia she had, so they had to do another procedure (drew her blood and injected it several times into her spine) and reconnect her IV, which was painful and discouraging for her. Jared and a friend gave her a blessing, and her headache eventually faded away. I stayed at the hospital with her on Tuesday night, and she was finally able to go home on Wednesday. 101_4702

Here’s a picture of Ben, sleeping on their couch. When I showed him the picture, Jimmy suggested that Ben might be a bit young to be getting hooked on Wii. I didn’t even notice the controller until he mentioned it! Gotta watch that.

101_0140Well, as everyone knows, I can go on and on, but I’ll wrap this up with a final few pictures. Early Sunday morning I had just gotten the babies back to sleep when Jacob and Kadence decided it was time to get up. I let the kids play with my camera, and Jacob took a 101E0163picture of me and Kadence, then Kadence took a picture of me and Jacob. I thought they turned out pretty good, considering that we all just got out of bed! (Actually I had been up for hours, but that’s beside the point.)

101_0170Also, I got Jared to take my picture with the babies. No hair or makeup done, but I’ve got two adorable accessories!

The morning after I got home, the noises the dogs make in their sleep made me keep waking up and looking for babies. The strange thing, though, is that when I would open my eyes, I didn’t know where I was. It took me a while to realize that I was at home in my own bed. Then I would fall back asleep and do it again – hear the noise, startle awake, look for babies, and have no idea where I was. You’d think I’d be able to recognize my own bedroom! My heart and mind is obviously still in Arizona!

Baby Baby (and two adorable kids)

I’ve been trying to write this blog ever since I got back home early Monday morning, but I’ve been struggling. Probably everybody that knows me, knows that I can blab endlessly about minutiae, and there’s lots of it to tell. I had every intention of sitting down and going over every day and all the ups and downs of my sweet daughter having twins: the build-up of waiting, my fears, the delivery, my fears, the joy of meeting the babies, the disappointments as Jill had to stay in the hospital longer, my fears, and so on. But every time I’ve sat down to start writing, I can’t “bring it” like I usually do. My writing seems dull and empty, even to me, and I just can’t post anything, not yet. I think I’ve figured out why.

Hey, are we allowed to tell our real feelings on these things, or is it just endless prattle about sweetness and light? I know it’s not, it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want. I do try not to offend anyone (much); I try to leave out anything that would upset anybody who might read this. But I guess that’s why I’m struggling, and it’s not because of feared offenses. It’s because I’m heartbroken.

My daughter and her precious family are moving far, far away. I’ve tried to be upbeat and happy for them. I know they’ll do great wherever they go, and it’s going to be a wonderful adventure for them. But I am sad, so very sad. I won’t get to see them very often. My babies (all six of them – and yes, I’m counting Jill and Jared too) will grow up without me. I know I’ll see them at least a couple of times a year, and you know I’ll be watching those air fares to grab a reasonable flight whenever I can, but there will be no hopping in the car and driving off to see them for a weekend. And honestly, I haven’t even done that very often while they’ve been close enough.

OK, it’s only Virginia. Yes, that’s far, but it’s not Korea or Australia. I’ve been trying to soothe myself with those words, but it isn’t helping much. Jared left to drive there with his friend Peter this past Wednesday, and during the time I was in Arizona, we were in full preparation mode. Making plans, shopping for Jared’s new work clothes (subsequently stolen by someone who broke into his car in Texas), deciding what he should take, shopping for a GPS for him to take (in the end he borrowed mine), worrying about money. His new job is giving him a lump sum of cash to help with moving expenses (as well as paying for a moving company to actually pack them up and move them), but he has to work there a couple weeks before he’ll get the money, so they have to scrape by until that happens. But he has a great new job, something many others don’t have, they’re moving somewhere exciting and fun, and yes, we’re blessed, we’re blessed, we’re blessed.

But I am sad.

Added to this is the fact that my boss at work has been diagnosed with a terrible, rare, aggressive cancer for which there is no current treatment. His only hope is to get into a clinical trial at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, but our (insert foul language) insurance is resisting approval of the tests that will qualify him for it. Yes, I’ve had my ups and downs with him. He can be a great guy that’s really fun to work with. He’s also tortured me from time to time to the edge of (what’s left of) my sanity. But I’m his “work wife” (he doesn’t have any others) and we’ve been putting up with each other for 17 years. I don’t want him to die. I just want him to be nice to me 24/7! Is that too much to ask?

So there you have it.

I’m going to write a second blog after this one and put in all of the happiness and joy of two new babies. I’ll try to hold off posting this one until the other one is about ready so that anyone who reads this can wipe this from their minds, if it ever lingered there.

Right after I’ve dried my tears. Again.